Family Loss

This has been a week of loss for our family: two family members in just two days. One, a grand-nephew only 49 years old, who fought a valiant battle against pancreatic cancer, succumbed to that terrible disease. He and his family knew that he was going to leave them. Being of Christian faith, they are secure in the knowledge that he is now in a much better place. That does not change the fact that there will be a great gaping hole in the lives of the family left behind: his parents, wife, children and other family members will be confronted with this empty space, which can only be dealt with one day at a time. I recall a song that says, “One day at a time, Lord, one day at a time.” And I believe living “One day at a time,” is part of the Alcoholics Anonymous creed. Attempting to look at a possibly long road ahead without the person we’ve lost can be overwhelming. Just too much to contemplate.

The day following David’s death, my youngest sister, aged 63, died suddenly and unexpectedly in a car-train accident, where she apparently drove in front of an on-coming train at an unprotected crossing. I’m sure she neither heard nor saw the train, but of course I don’t know why. Was she distracted? Was there a medical reason? A medication side effect that made her less aware of her surroundings?

Susan was not only my youngest sister, but the youngest in our family of 12 children, eight boys and four girls. Now there are only four left, two boys and two girls. The two younger girls were born after I married and were near the age of my own two daughters. They grew up together, more like cousins than aunts and nieces.

The news about Susan was so unexpected, I was in shock. The blood pressure soared and I couldn’t speak without stuttering for a while, until it began to descend to a more acceptable rate .

She, too, has a family: a husband, children, grandchildren, and I’m sure they are having trouble comprehending (if indeed it can be done) so great and sudden loss. She too, is of Christian faith, so no worries for her after-life; but oh, those left behind, who will now have to find a way to live without her. God help them and sustain them. God help us all.

What can I say to you Susan? I don’t know,words fail me. Perhaps, only as I said before: Susan, Susan, Susan!